Your energetic state affects your growth.

energy mindset Mar 26, 2024

Today, a client shared some advice she sought and received from another handler at a trial. She said the advice made sense to her logical brain. That simple sentence sparked an often-overlooked concept: when we ask emotional questions, we get emotional answers; when we ask rational questions, we get rational answers.


Why does this matter in the mindset world? When we are frustrated, sad, mad, nervous, etc., we often ask emotional questions. "Why can't I get this right?" "What am I doing wrong?" "Am I ever going to get this?"


The answers we get back tend to be more soothing but less helpful, such as, "You'll get it!" Or, "There were a lot of good things that happened, too."


It's also why unsolicited advice right when you come out of the ring after a less-than-stellar run stirs violent tendencies (ha) - we are emotional, and all we can process is emotional. So hearing that it was our fault because we didn't cue something properly (rational/logical) doesn't jive with our current emotional state.


It's tough to take in rational/logical feedback when we aren't an energetic match for it; it's jarring because we're just not able to hear it.


Conversely, let's take that same run (where we didn't cue something properly) and imagine we have time to cool down. Later, when we are feeling less emotional, we seek advice from a logical (aka unemotional) state. Lo and behold, we can now absorb the logical response and do something with the feedback. The energies match.


But what if you asked a question from a logical energy and got emotion back? Another mismatch. Ever been surprised by someone's "off the handle" response to what you thought was a simple question? Mismatch.


If you want a thoughtful, logical response, ask from a non-emotional place. If you're looking for emotional support, lean into it.


If we are to strive for a growth mindset, we also have to be aware of when we ask for or receive feedback—what is our energetic state? Know when you can accept logical input or when you just want an emotional shoulder. It's okay to admit you're too emotional to be constructive (actually, that's super-healthy!) and that you'd like to continue the conversation later. Develop the self-awareness to know when you are most likely to receive feedback.

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