Mistakes are "sticky!"Apr 06, 2021
Get over it.
You’ve just got to let go.
It’s time to move on.
I’ve got platitudes for days when it comes to helping all of us to let go of a “mistake” or NQ that still haunts us. But they are all useless if we’re not ready to hear them. Sometimes we just aren’t done beating ourselves up.
Letting go, moving on, focusing forward is all super-hard. Why? A few reasons. First, we are wired to look for trouble - anthropologically, it’s saved our butt over a few thousand years. Looking for what could hurt us, saves us. HOWEVER, doesn’t it depress us, too? We have to stay vigilant when it comes to allowing negative thoughts to pull us into some snowball-avalanche-thinking.
To do this, we must get good at noticing our negativity and actively replacing the thought with something more positive. ANY more positive thought will help get you going back in the right direction. Thinking about that last run? Imagine your favorite ice cream flavor instead. You’re trying to improve your vibe so reach for what is both positive and believable. Then you can work toward coming up with the reverse thought. Try it!
A second reason it’s hard to “move on,” is that we would really prefer to re-write the past. Admit it. Don’t you want to just go back and get a do-over? To be able to reenact the past is to heal our wounded self-esteem. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Who wouldn’t want that? To address this is, be honest with your feelings - the painful ones (sorry!). Remember, one performance does NOT define you - it’s not who you are, just what happened. Let this really sink in.
Finally, there’s an issue of forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard enough when it comes to others, but when it comes to forgiving ourselves, well, it’s damnnear impossible. And yet, that’s where the power lies. The ability to forgive yourself for a mistake is the only way you will be able to extract the lesson and apply it going forward.
Here’s the thing, when you drag past baggage into the ring with you, you hinder your performance - it’s that simple. We should all strive to have a “clean” performance - not necessarily a clean run (as in agility), but one that has clean energy. Bring nothing that doesn’t belong - less is more. Strip it down to the bare essentials so you can focus on what you need to do (not what you did in the past).
Easy? No! Imperative? Absolutely!
Here’s a related blog post that may help:
Your beliefs are getting in your way.
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