Letting the outcomes just happen

The message slid into my inbox like so many others — sweet, thoughtful, and full of that infectious post-trial glow. But as I read her words, I paused. Reread a few lines. And smiled.

Here’s what she said (paraphrased & anonymized):

"My friend and I weren't sure about entering a three-day agility event... but we decided to go. With one key difference: we focused 100% on process goals and never once thought about outcomes. And something amazing happened — we had more fun than ever, ran faster than ever, and walked away with results we didn’t even aim for. The outcomes just… happened."

Let me tell you — as a coach, reading this was goosebump-level good.

But as a fellow handler? I felt it in my bones.

“I Thought I Got It… Until I Got It”

What struck me most was how she framed her experience as something that finally clicked.

See, I talk about this topic all the time. In my coaching, in my planner system, in podcast episode #206 — outcomes vs. process goals is practically the air I breathe.

And yet… this message reminded me that “getting it” intellectually is not the same as living it.

The truth? Most handlers think they understand the mindset shift.

But understanding it is not the same as trusting it.

And trusting it is not the same as practicing it under pressure.

 That’s where the work is.

Why Is It So Hard to Let Go of Outcomes?

Because outcomes are loud. Shiny. Shareable. Measurable.

Because we’re used to rewarding results, not process.

Because if we say out loud, “I want that Q” — we feel motivated. But if we don’t get it? We feel like we failed. We either win, or we learn, right? Except when the learning stings too much to feel like growth.

So we start managing expectations. We say things like:

• “I just want to have fun.”
• “I’m just here for the experience.”
• “It’s just practice.”

And listen — I love a good reframe. But we have to be honest with ourselves: are we shifting into process goals, or are we just bracing for disappointment?

True process goals aren’t a safety net.

 They’re the engine that powers confidence, consistency, and joy in the ring.

So, What Happens When It Finally Clicks?

You run faster. You handle bolder. You trust more.

And paradoxically — or maybe not — the outcomes often show up anyway.

Not because you hustled harder.

But because you were present.

 Because you got out of your own way.

 Because you focused on the dog in front of you, not the ribbon ahead of you.

That’s what my listener did. And that’s what she’s working to recreate every time she steps to the line now. (Which, yes, takes practice too.)

Want This Mindset to Stick?

Start with the process.

And then — stay with it.

If you want help building this kind of mindset — one that works with you, not against you — that’s literally what I do. Through coaching, my membership program, and all the free content I share.

It’s not fluff. It’s not magic.

 It’s dogged. It’s daily. And it’s worth it.