It’s Not the Mistake - It’s the Meaning We Give It

You miss a contact. Your dog breaks their start line. You NQ after weeks of preparation.

It stings. And if you’re like most handlers, the emotional aftershock of that mistake sticks around way longer than the mistake itself.

But here’s the truth: the mistake isn’t what’s holding you back.

It’s the story you tell yourself about that mistake.

Emotion Isn’t the Problem. It’s Proof That You Care.

Dog sports aren’t just a hobby for most of us — they’re how we spend our weekends, our money, our time, our hearts. So when things go wrong, it makes sense that emotions come with it.

But emotion only becomes a problem when it starts writing the narrative.

You start thinking:

“I always mess this up.”

“My dog deserves better.”

“Everyone saw me fail.”

“I’ll never get this right.”

That’s not the voice of facts - that’s the voice of fear, frustration, shame. And when those emotions run the show, they start to shape your beliefs about yourself, your dog, and your future.

The Feedback Loop That Keeps You Stuck

Here’s what happens, over and over:

• Mistake happens
• You feel an emotion (disappointment, embarrassment, fear)
• That emotion fuels a thought (“I’m just not cut out for this”)
• That thought becomes a belief (“I always mess up under pressure”)
• That belief influences your actions (avoidance, hesitation, second-guessing)
• And those actions reinforce your results (less confident handling, more errors)

Unless we interrupt the cycle, it just keeps repeating.

So What Can You Do?

Here’s a simple process to start untangling the emotion from the event:

1. Name the emotion
2. Are you frustrated? Embarrassed? Hurt? Naming it helps shrink its power.
3. Check the story
4. What are you making this mistake mean about you?
5. Find the fact
6. What actually happened? (E.g., “My dog took the off-course jump” — not “I ruined everything.”)
7. Choose a more helpful thought
8. What else could be true? (“We’ve made so much progress” or “Now I know what to train.”)

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending the mistake didn’t matter. It’s about not letting your emotion dictate your reality.

Turning Emotion Into Fuel

Emotion isn’t the enemy. It’s energy. And when you learn how to work with it - not fear it or ignore it - it becomes a powerful tool in your mindset toolbox.

That’s the work we do in coaching. We unpack the emotional charge behind the spiral, examine the story you’ve been telling yourself, and start to build a version that helps you grow instead of retreat.

Ready to Rewire the Loop?

If there’s one mistake (or one story) you just can’t seem to shake…

Let’s work on it — together.

📍 Coaching

You don’t need to overhaul your whole mindset.

Just start with one moment, one belief, one shift.

I’ll be right there with you.