Hot take: Your nerves aren't the problem

Let’s get one thing out of the way:

Nerves are not a character flaw.

They don’t mean you’re weak. They don’t mean you’re unprepared. And they definitely don’t mean you’re broken.

What do they mean?

You care. You’re invested. You want to do well. That’s not a problem — that’s a feature.

But here’s the part no one tells you:

Nerves aren’t the real issue. They’re the symptom.

Handlers come to me all the time saying, “If I could just get rid of the nerves, I’d be fine.” But when we dig a little deeper, we find all sorts of root causes hiding underneath:

• Unrealistic expectations
• A belief that mistakes = failure
• Comparison to past dogs or other handlers
• A focus on outcomes over process
• A lack of trust (in themselves, or their dog, or both)

So, trying to “banish” nerves without addressing the underlying thoughts? That’s like taping over a warning light on your dashboard and hoping the engine magically fixes itself.

Here’s the better move: work with your nerves.

Let them be part of the process — and learn how to use them instead of fighting them.

3 ways to work with your nerves (instead of against them)

1. Acknowledge them; don’t apologize for them.

Start by naming what’s true: “I’m feeling nervous.” That’s it. No drama. No shame. When you normalize the feeling instead of judging it, you give yourself space to respond instead of react.

2. Get curious about the cause.

Ask yourself: What am I really afraid of here? Am I putting pressure on myself? Am I worried about what others will think? Am I trying to prove something? Nerves often come from a belief — and beliefs can be shifted.

3. Focus on action.

Nerves feed on inaction. So, the more you sit around stewing in your own anxiety, the bigger they get. That’s why routines and rituals matter. Have a warm-up process. Breathe with intention. Say a mantra. Walk your dog like you mean it. Give your nerves something to do.

There’s no medal for pretending you’re not nervous. And there’s no benefit to blaming your nerves for every mistake.

But when you learn to understand them, you can use that energy to sharpen your focus, fuel your performance, and show up like the handler you are.

🎙️ Want more on this? I’m diving deeper on this week’s podcast — including what your nerves might be trying to tell you. Don’t miss it.