Carving Validation? Me too!!

I had a rough weekend with my dogs. Not from an effort standpoint — they tried their hearts out — but from an outcome standpoint. No ribbons, no Qs, nothing tangible to bring home. And while I know better, I still found myself wondering: what does this mean? Am I doing enough? Are we on track?

That train of thought led me to something bigger: just how much we in dog sports rely on external validation.

Think about it. We look for approval from coaches, feedback from judges, encouragement from fellow handlers, even subtle nods from breeders or mentors. We crave those little signals that we’re doing the right things and making progress. It’s a very human need, but in a sport like ours — where most of the training happens alone — it can become a trap.

I’ve often said one of our biggest challenges as handlers is that we say we’re focused on process goals when we step into the ring, but then we measure ourselves entirely by outcomes. Did we Q? Did we place? Did we earn points?

Validation and outcomes are close cousins. A Q feels like feedback. A ribbon feels like proof. A compliment from the judge feels like permission to keep going. But here’s the problem: when we hang all our confidence on external validation, we give away our power.

Because what happens when the Qs don’t come? Or when a judge is stingy with compliments? Or when the crowd is too busy to notice? Suddenly, we feel like we’re failing — when in reality, nothing about our partnership with our dog has changed.

Here’s the truth: validation from others is nice, but it’s not reliable. If that’s our only source of feedback, our confidence will always feel shaky.

So what do we do instead? We learn to create internal validation. That means finding ways to measure progress and celebrate wins that don’t depend on anyone else.

A few ideas to try:

• Track process goals, not just outcomes. Write down whether you remembered your pre-run routine, handled the tricky sequence, or kept your nerves in check — regardless of the Q.
• Notice your dog’s growth. Did your dog stay focused longer? Did they recover faster after a mistake? Those are signs of progress no ribbon can capture.
• Reflect after every run. A quick “what went well / what to improve” check-in keeps feedback flowing, even without a coach standing ringside.
• Celebrate effort. Sometimes the bravest thing is just walking to the line and giving it a go. That counts.

These practices help you build a sense of self-trust. They remind you that you don’t need constant approval from the outside world to know you’re on the right track.

External validation will always feel good. It’s fun to bring home ribbons and hear a kind word from a judge. But confidence that lasts comes from inside — from knowing your dog, knowing your work, and trusting your journey.

The Dogged planner/workbook was built with this in mind: to give you space to track more than just outcomes, to capture those moments of growth that matter most.

At the end of the day, validation is part of being human. But lasting confidence? That comes from you.